Stranger in a Strange Land
by justanotherclassic
Summary: There are many days in which Emma longs to talk to someone outside of Storybrooke. It's not as if she doesn't appreciate her friends and family, but she wishes for an impartial person with whom she could unravel the insanities of her life. (Set sometime during Season 4b. Slight Captain Swan)


There are many days in which Emma longs to talk to someone outside of Storybrooke. It's not as if she doesn't appreciate her friends and family, but she wishes for an impartial person with whom she could unravel the insanities of her life. Henry doesn't count, because he's still young enough to be absolutely enthralled by the absurdities they face on a day-to-day basis. Of course, anyone outside of Storybrooke would almost certainly attempt to institutionalize her the moment she began explain her life, her status, or her lineage - an action Emma could hardly blame on this hypothetical person. Emma, too, had acted wildly skeptical when Henry first arrived on her doorstep, and later Hook, with stories of fairy tales, enchanted forests, and true love's kiss. In order for anyone to not assume Emma was crazy, he or should would need to first accept:

That she was Emma Swan, daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White. That her son was adopted by the Evil Queen. That her son's father is the son of Rumplestiltskin. That Rumplestiltskin is the son a Peter Pan, and his most hated enemy was at one point Captain Hook. That she is _something_ (she refuses to put a name on whatever they are) with Captain Hook.

Emma could continue going on with the name dropping of characters from fairy tales and characters from her tales of her childhood. She helped the Mad Hatter find his daughter. She almost married a Flying Monkey. Her mother had a one night stand with Dr. Frankenstein. Cruella De Vil, Ursula, and Maleficent are currently teaming up in an attempt to wreak havoc on her town. A therapist would have a field day with her problems, or at the very least feel as if he or she hit the proverbial jackpot with the bill her almost certainly numerous visits would require.

(Too bad the only therapist she knows is Jiminy Cricket!)

The fact that a large number of characters she had assumed to fictional were real now makes her television and movie viewing habits somewhat stressful, and far from the relaxing escape they once provided. Instead of allowing herself to get lost in the story, a voice in the back of her mind questions the line between fact or fiction. Does Hogwarts exist? Is Westeros the name of another realm touching Misthaven? Is there a Hellmouth under Cleveland? With no apparent answers to these questions, she prefers to stick to game shows, reality television, and documentaries - things that she knows actually happened, or at the least, won't surprise her during Storybrooke's next crisis.

(There will always be a next crisis, she has come to accept.)

For the most part, Killian is fine with this preference when they share "Netflix and chill" nights. He revels in learning more about her land, though he doesn't quite understand the appeal of the Kardashians or the many baking shows dedicated to cupcakes. Even so, she relents when he and Henry insist upon watching the animated Peter Pan film.

(As much as she likes to see the man she is seeing bonding with her son, she realizes what a fatal combination the two together can be to her resolve.)

Emma doesn't quite understand how after everything they've been through in Neverland, after everything _he's_ been through in Neverland, how easily he can enjoy the movie. Painful memories plague her during the whole affair, while his eyes are alight with mirth, laughing along with her son about the general unswarthiness of his animated counterpart. She sometimes forgets that even though he was once considered a villain, he was still a resident of some magical realm, bringing with him the almost maddening optimism that all inhabitants seem to share.

(He will always follow her. Her parents will always find one another. True Love will always overcome the darkness.)

Though she is technically from the Enchanted Forest, she doesn't share that same optimism as him and her parents. Most would call her cynical, but she considers her cynicism realistic. Though what realistic means nowadays, she hardly knows. Her reality was once one where magic was focused on children's tales. Her reality now is something warped, but she isn't quite ready to let go of her world.

Emma loves the home she has made in Storybrooke. For once she has parents who long to be in her life, want to know the details of her day-to-day, encourage her toward takes comfort in the fact that her son is surrounded by a family, albeit a rather screwed up family, of people who truly love him, who will sacrifice for him, maybe even die for him. She even has someone who will follow her to the end of many worlds and all of time, someone who looks at her with a devotion that she never thought she would ever experience.

(That last part scares her as much as it comforts her, because she has held a heart in her hands, knows its fragility, and isn't quite ready for the responsibility of not breaking his or letting him shatter hers. She's not sure which of the two options is worse, and doesn't want to find out.)

Yet, despite all of this, she still feels as if she is stranger trapped in a strange land, tethered between two worlds. She does not fully belong with the Enchanted Forest, but she also no longer completely belongs to the world of her adolescence. She does not seamlessly blend two personas like the once-cursed Storybrooke inhabitants. Her mother answers to both her Storybrooke and Enchanted Forest names, as does her father. They understand the intricacies of magic just as easily as the ins-and-outs of the internet.

She longs for the ease in their operations, how they can easily transition from discussing the magical machinations of the latest villain to deciding which movie to watch for the evening or attempting to fix the faulty water heater. (Except for Killian, who still doesn't quite understand the concept of a telephone.) For her, it takes a moment to switch mindsets, to remind herself that this isn't always a dream. Everyone else, even her technology-intolerant pirate, seems so sure of themselves, much moreso than her. They all may have doubts and insecurities, but they at least are sure of who they are and where they came from, even if they don't necessarily like that person. She tells herself that if she surrounds herself with these people, that she will finally be able to discover who she is outside of the Savior, and find a balance between these two very different worlds.

She hopes it is enough.


End file.
